Men have been shaving their faces for hundreds of years, and many of those years happened before the internet even existed. How’d they do it without the how-to guides and 10-tricks-and-tips listicles? We’ll never know. You could text your grandfather and ask him. But he’ll never figure out the T9 keyboard on his flip phone. It’s probably best to keep reading. We’ll teach you how to shave:
- Gently remove hair from neck and face using smooth, gentle motions.
- If using a straight razor, insert blade 2″ below left ear and make a quick sweeping slice across your neck.
- A warm towel should be used to minimize razor burn.
- If using a safety razor, remember to remove the blade before slitting your wrists.
- Don’t forget it’s “down the road” not “across the street.” Make it count.
- Splash face with cold water after shaving to ensure every surface in the bathroom is covered with whiskers.
- If using an electric razor, consider looping the charging cord around your neck and tossing the plug end into a running ceiling fan.
- Using aftershave is a great excuse to inhale sharply and state: “That’s the stuff!”
- Upon reaching puberty, watch as many internet videos as possible about shaving or those containing well-shaved female leads. Whatever.
- Always buy your shaving brush, expensive razor, blade subscription, moisturizer, and aftershave on the internet to ensure you’re supporting quality content with your affiliate fees.
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